Meghan Trainor Opens Up About Depression, Anxiety

By David Konow 03/07/18

The "All About That Bass" singer says at one point her anxiety and panic attacks were so bad she couldn't leave her home.

Meghan Trainor

In 2014, singer/songwriter Meghan Trainor became a sensation with her body positivity anthem, "All About That Bass," which was a huge hit worldwide.

While the message behind the song is about accepting yourself as you are, Trainor once struggled with depression and panic attacks after having surgery on her vocal cords, twice.

She revealed to Today that she even had to communicate with her fiancé, actor Daryl Sabara, through sign language until her voice came back.

Like many who suffer from depression and anxiety, Trainor felt she was living a double life. She tells The Sun, “I was the poster child of ‘I’m brave and I love who I am and I’m here.’ And I was the opposite. I was crumbling in my bed, like, ‘I want to stay here and get through.’”

Trainor continues, “I fell into a crazy, deep hole of depression and anxiety.” It got to the point where she couldn’t leave the house because of the panic attacks. At one point she thought, "My God, is it going to be over for me forever?"

Trainor continues, “When I had an episode it would last for three days. I was crippled and had this pain.”

“Eventually I was going to doctors, psychologists and therapists and I was like, ‘My back feels like someone has a flame to it, I’m not sure if I’m going crazy.’ Moments like that I had, dissociation with your body and you think you’re schizophrenic—you’re seeing things. You feel like there’s something wrong with you and you’re embarrassed to talk about it.”

Finally, Trainor wound up in the hospital, thinking she had an allergic reaction to some food she ate. “My throat was closing and I was having trouble breathing. They told me, ‘This is a full-blown panic attack.’ You’re like, ‘How is my brain doing this? How does it have that much power over me?’”

Trainor then started researching panic attacks, and took time off to get better. She changed her diet, started exercising a lot and went to therapy once a week. “Talking to a therapist teaches you. God, I wasn’t loving myself.”

Trainor also credits Sabara with helping her come back from her depression and anxiety. Sabara proposed to Trainor the day before she hit her 24th birthday last December.

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In addition to contributing for The Fix, David Konow has also written for Esquire, Deadline, LA Weekly, Village Voice, The Wrap, and many other publications and websites. He is also the author of the three decade history of heavy metal, Bang Your Head (Three Rivers Press), and the horror film history Reel Terror (St Martins Press). Find David on LinkedIn and Facebook.