Taking the Guesswork Out of Sober Dating

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Taking the Guesswork Out of Sober Dating

By The Fix staff 08/13/18

Connecting with others in recovery is easy.

Image: 
Happy couple at the beach.

For many people, dating and drinking go hand and hand. When you want to get to know someone, you ask them to grab a drink. If you’re looking to meet new people you head to the bar. Even with more dating happening online, alcohol is usually emphasized. So what is a sober single to do? Without booze to fall back on, dating can feel like a foreign landscape.

That’s why Mike Reed founded Single and Sober — a sober dating site that connects people who are living life in recovery.

“Dating in recovery is unique because as a sober person without ‘liquid courage,’ it is 100% the real you,” Reed said.

Dating in recovery can feel like navigating a landmine. There are the seemingly mundane challenges — like where to meet and what drink to order — and more significant issues — like when to disclose your recovery or whether to choose a partner who is also sober.

Single and Sober removes some of those barriers to finding romance because everyone is on the same page from the start. There is no awkwardness about where to meet or when to bring up your recovery program, since there is no secrecy about recovery among Single and Sober’s 6,000 active users. You won’t need to worry about how AA and dating will go together.

Reed has been in recovery himself since 2011. In 2015 he began to wonder whether there were sober dating sites specifically designed for people who wanted to try dating in recovery.

“I typed in the words single and sober and the website was for sale. I bought it right there on the spot and the rest is history,” he said.

Since the site launched in 2015 it has grown to nearly 10,000 profiles and has active users in the United States, Canada, England and Australia. Users choose from four membership levels, starting at just $9.99 each month. 

Reed says that in addition to helping people in recovery find love, Single and Sober prides itself on delivering excellent customer service and support.

“We believe dating in recovery is possible. Sober dating is our specialty and we take your sobriety and privacy very seriously,” he said.

Because Reed and others at the company are sober, they can address issues that are common in sober dating.

“We have an awesome blog page with amazing and relevant content including sober dating tips and addiction recovery resources,” Reed said. One of the most common concerns is that sober dates might be boring, but just like life in recovery, sober dating can be vibrant and fulfilling. A walk in the park, coffee, going out to a movie, a museum, a sporting event or concert are some of Reed’s favorite date ideas.

Reed says that founding Single and Sober has helped strengthen his own recovery and allowed him to support the broader community.

“I felt like this was a great opportunity to give back to the recovery community and keep myself more engaged in my recovery process at the same time,” he said.

In keeping with 12 Step tradition, Single and Sober encourages people to use the first year of recovery to focus on themselves before starting to date.

“Single and Sober strongly encourages and supports the one year no dating approach,” Reed said.

After that year is up, Single and Sober will be there to help connect sober singles.

Use Promo Code LOVE to get 25 percent off any Single and Sober Membership. Find out more on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook.

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