Rapper’s Music Video About Mom’s Battle With Meth Inspires

Rapper’s Music Video About Mom’s Battle With Meth Inspires

By Victoria Kim 08/25/17

Next month, Henriquez and his mother will visit a women’s correctional facility where he’ll perform the song for the inmates there.

Image: 
 Ruby Lanz is now 12 years sober.
Ruby Lanz is now 12 years sober. Photo via YouTube

The music video for “All For You (My Mom’s Addiction Story)” is a heart-wrenching testimonial of what it’s like to watch a parent lose themselves to drug addiction. It got the attention of Oklahoma rapper Matthew Harl, who shared it with his followers on Facebook—setting off a chain reaction of positive feedback from online viewers.

The song is performed by rapper Mark Henriquez—aka “Gremlin”—of Santa Ana, California. The 25-year-old video editor appears with his mother, Ruby Lanz, in his music video, as he recalls the turmoil that his mother’s meth addiction put him through as a child. 

I remember that my mom was in distress and sick from stress/ She was stuck on drugs, she picked up meth/ And told me not to worry, with cigarette in her breath/ But I couldn’t watch her kill herself so I took my shit and left/ And I moved to grandma’s crib, just a kid who didn’t wanna feel depressed/ But mama I was still a mess and you were still missed to death/ But I couldn’t see my mom like that, I hang up she’d call right back/ Everybody has their ma, and god I just want mine back.

Lanz’s drug use began with PCP at age 14. She stopped using while she was pregnant with Mark and his brother, but by the time he was 11 years old, she started using meth. This led to a three-year downward spiral during which she lost everything.

“Because of my addiction, I lost my job of 16 years and I lost my kids’ respect, I lost my apartment, I lost everything I ever worked for,” Lanz says in the music video. “Now that I look back and think of everything that I did and everything that I lost, and things that only addicts do, I just can’t believe that was me.”

At the height of her drug use, she even sold the family TV and the refrigerator so she could buy meth. She was even threatened at gunpoint by a drug dealer while she was out with her family at the arcade. “I distanced myself from her,” Henriquez told the Orange County Register. “She was deteriorating and I didn’t want to see her.”

I just needed to escape, so I’d write another song/ When that dealer tried to kill ya, man I cried so fuckin long/ What a life it was, long nights with fights and drugs/ Everybody wanted to find a buzz, I was tryna find the love.

His mother’s recovery began when she went to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. She then entered rehab and moved to a sober living home. Two years later, she had a home and a job working for a construction business owned by her new husband, who she met in NA. Lanz, 46, is now 12 years sober.

At the end of the music video, Henriquez says into the camera: “I wouldn’t change anything. It made us a lot closer and it made her a better person, it made me a better person.” He says his drive to create music to help others is fueled by his difficult past. 

His mother says she’s glad her son channeled his childhood frustrations into positivity. “That makes me happy,” she told the OC Register. “Something good came out of something bad.”

In September, Henriquez and his mother will visit a women’s correctional facility where he’ll perform “All For You” for the inmates there.

“He shared the story of every inmate we have here,” said Deloris Moreno, program manager of the women’s facility, who found the music video on Facebook. “It was a very moving testimony that he sang. He was able to articulate the hope that came out of that, the forgiveness that he has for his mother.”

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Victoria is interested in anything that has to do with how mind-altering substances impact society. Find Victoria on LinkedIn or Tumblr

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