In Memoriam of an AA Giant, SARGE Pickman!
I’ve given over 10,000 people back their loved ones through treatment, and not one of these people would have been reunited with their families, created their own families, and lived lives they could be proud of without SARGE Pickman.
I would’ve never gotten sober without SARGE.
We had breakfast every morning for years at 8:30 AM, right after our meeting at the Log Cabin. I was insane. I was absolutely nuts, and nobody could tell me anything in early sobriety. I knew best.
I would do the absolute stupidest shit, and he would make me look at my bad behavior by laughing at me, but not in a shaming way, so I could see how absolutely insane I was. It’s the only way I would’ve changed. That was his genius.
SARGE didn’t just make me a human being. He, along with my sponsor, taught me that there was nothing to get, only to give; and that’s how I live my life today. And it’s how I’ve lived my life for the last 23 years.
But I’m only one of many. I have met many of SARGE’s friends from Florida. He sponsored all or most all of them. He may have spent most of his sobriety in Los Angeles, but he loved his Florida guys.
The last time I saw SARGE was in April, when I came to Florida, and if that was the last time I spent time with him, it was the best!
We went to get a bite to eat at a restaurant he liked, but was actually horrible.
So we’re sitting there eating, and I’m pretending to like this shitty food. Because we’ve spent so much time together, it’s hard for me to laugh at everything he says, even though he’s the single funniest human being to ever walk the Earth. He would not end the lunch until I was laughing hysterically. He didn’t know I knew it, but I never had to fake it.
He introduced me to my friend Danny, who I will know for the rest of my life, and I know it made him happy. SARGE loved making introductions to people who he knew would love each other, and he was never wrong.
I feel like I am doing a horrible job of conveying just how magnificent this man was. He has a 15-year-old boy who is absolutely beautiful in every way, smarter than his father, and that is saying something because SARGE was one of the smartest people I’ve ever met; certainly, one of the most loving. He leaves behind a magnificent wife who he truly loved. He said she was best mother in the world.
But SARGE was happiest when he was with his son and telling me about his son. That’s what he lived for. Xander was everything to him and was the blessing of his life. Every time we talked, he said how smart he was, and how interesting, and funny, and kind. He was so proud of his son.
SARGE died this morning, December 1, 2025, and it’s a bad day for everyone who ever met this man.
Keep God laughing, and don’t forget to come get me to take me to the other side, so that I’m not scared. I don’t know who is there for you, but I love you very, very much and I’m gonna miss you. See you on the other side.
~Richard Taite
This article was originally published on March 6th by The Marshall Project, a nonprofit news organization covering the U.S. criminal justice system. Sign up for their newsletter, or follow The Marshall Project on Facebook or Twitter.When Lauren Johnson reached for a…
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