Courtney Chronicles (Part 2) - Page 3

By Maer Roshan 05/24/11

In the second half of our explosive interview, the rowdy rock icon talks about her struggles with crack and heroin, her crusade against crooked lawyers, and that crazy day she almost jumped off of Lenny Kravitz's roof.

Love and War: Courtney's True Confessions Getty Images

(page 3)

What happened?

Well, obviously, I wasn’t successful. Things didn’t turn out exactly as planned. I was rushed to Bellevue on July 9, 2004, because somebody called the police and told them I was about to jump off Lenny Kravitz’s roof. I don’t remember much about that day. You'd have to ask people around me who were there. But the gist of it is someone saw me on Lenny's roof, and the next thing I knew I was in the psych ward at Bellevue. 

Do you think you were going to jump?

No. Not really. But the EMT's certainly did.

How long did they keep you at Bellevue?

For 72 bloody hours. I was going crazy the whole time because they don’t allow you to smoke there. And then one night they wheeled in two African-American hermaphrodites on a gurney with their faces smeared with feces, who were both talking to Satan. That’s when I really freaked out. 

I also got my period while I was there, but they don’t let you use tampons, because you could supposedly use them to off yourself. So I threw a giant fit and they finally released me and sent me to rehab at Silver Hill.

 Lady Gaga is very young, and very talented, but she surrounds herself with this coterie of gay stylists who’ve turned her into a Barbie doll. If she doesn’t watch out she’ll turn into a lonely drag queen.

When did you first realize that your drug use was becoming a problem?

When I was pregnant with Frances. When my doctor informed me I was having a baby, I knew I had to get clean real quick. I checked in to a hospital to detox. But then my world was turned upside down by a very bitter, very ugly woman named Lynn Hirschberg, who published an article about Kurt and me in Vanity Fair. She is famous for doing hatchet pieces on other women and blow-jobs on famous Jewish men. She’s constantly falling in love with celebrities like Rick Rubin, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Weinstein, and Jerry Seinfeld.  In fact, she was fired from Vanity Fair because she sent Jerry Seinfeld an article she had written about him and allowed him to edit it before it appeared in the magazine. She’s a monster—that’s all I can say. I don’t have hate in my heart for anybody, but she’s more responsible for my husband’s death than anyone.

Was it her article that convinced you to enter rehab for the first time?

I went to rehab before her story came out. I had checked myself into Cedar-Sinai’s chemical dependency center to come down off of opiates. The guy who ran the unit at the time was an addict himself, and he offered me morphine to induce an abortion. I told him, "I want this child. Are you out of your mind?"  He told me, “Oh, if you kick heroin, you’ll miscarry anyway.” But you know what?  I’m built like an ox. I wasn’t about to lose my baby. She came out a few months later and she was beautiful and healthy and perfect. 

Don’t you think your drug use had any effect on your child?

No, I don’t. I think the stress caused by Lynn Hirschberg’s article had a lot more of an impact on her than anything I ever did. When that article came out, I’d been in a chemical dependency unit for a whole week! After I went home, Kurt was using a lot of heroin, so I usually spent the night with friends.  I didn’t stay around Kurt too much when I was pregnant. That whole episode made us drift apart. 

Yes, it’s true, I used heroin in the first three weeks of my pregnancy—but so fucking what!? I didn’t even know I was pregnant at the time! I also took a few puffs on a cigarette when my belly was out to here, but most of those nine months, I walked around with nicotine patches all over my body. When you have a baby inside you, you’re not going to do drugs or something stupid.

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Maer Roshan is an American writer, editor and entrepreneur who has launched and edited a series of prominent magazines and websites, including,, NYQ, Punch!, Radar Magazine and You can find him on Linkedin or follow him on Twitter.