Britney Spears may have effectively cleaned up her act—although whether she’s actually happy now remains an unanswered question—but her ex-bodyguard is still trying to cash in on her tawdry past. Fernando Flores, who served as Spears’ minder during some of her darkest days, says he’s lined up a million-dollar deal with a publisher for a tell-all book about “threesomes, orgies, girls making out” and Spears’ propensity for “drinking, drugs, [and] steamy sessions in hot tubs.” Gulp. Flores has already tried to bilk some cash out of Team Britney once before; he filed a lawsuit for sexual harassment in 2010, claiming that—among other offenses—she passed gas and picked her nose “unapologetically,” did not maintain basic habits of personal grooming, and was frequently under the influence of drugs like Ritalin, Narcon, and meth. The last thing Spears needs is to have her revamped good-girl image re-sullied.