How Prisoners Beat Urine Tests

How Prisoners Beat Urine Tests

By Seth Ferranti 09/19/12

Prisoners claim to The Fix that beating tests inside is routine.

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US prisoners are subject to random urinalysis at any moment. This fact—and the necessity of spending tax dollars to test incarcerated individuals—is a pretty clear indicator of the futility of the War on Drugs. Prisoners aren't only taking drugs on the inside, and being given urine tests as a result—they're also regularly beating those tests. "It's not difficult," one prisoner tells The Fix. "There's several different ways, some easier than others. You can try to get off a couple of pisses before you give your sample," he claims, "so that you piss clear. With clear piss no drugs will register." Prisoners who take drugs and are on the hot list know to keep drinking large quantities of water. When they're called to urinate, they do so with much greater confidence, because they're giving a watered-down sample. "Also you can put Ajax or some other cleanser on your fingers and piss on them to dilute your piss when you piss in the cup," the prisoner says. "If you really want to get technical and make sure you beat the test you can carry someone else's piss in a Visine bottle and squirt it into the testing cup. You have to be careful though because the COs are watching. But most of them don't really give a fuck. They are just punching the clock and trying to get a paycheck. Why do you think there are so many drugs in prison?"

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After landing on the US Marshals Top-15 Most Wanted list and being sentenced to a 25 year sentence in federal prison for a first-time, nonviolent LSD offense, Seth built a writing and journalism career from his cell block. His raw portrayals of prison life and crack era gangsters graced the pages of Don DivaHoopshype and VICE. From prison he established Gorilla Convict, a true-crime publisher and website that documents the stories that the mainstream media can’t get with books like Prison Stories and Street Legends. His story has been covered by The Washington PostThe Washington Times, and Rolling Stone.

Since his release in 2015 he’s worked hard to launch GR1ND Studios, where true crime and comics clash. GR1ND Studios is bringing variety to the comic shelf by way of the American underground. These groundbreaking graphic novels tell the true story of prohibition-era mobsters, inner-city drug lords, and suburban drug dealers. Seth is currently working out of St. Louis, Missouri, writing for The FixVICEOZY, Daily Beast, and Penthouse and moving into the world of film. Check out his first short, Easter Bunny Assassin at sethferranti.com. You can find Seth on Linkedin or follow him on Twitter.

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