Billie Eilish Opens Up About Mental Health, Self-Harm

By Bryan Le 08/05/19

The 17-year-old singer says it breaks her heart when she sees scars on her fans’ arms.

Billie Eilish
ID 142040117 © Starstock |

Billie Eilish, the 17-year-old pop star who makes hit songs with her brother at home, dished about her career, mental health, and artistry in an interview with Rolling Stone.

Despite recording vocals from the comfort of a bed at her parent’s house, Eilish took the music world by storm at 14 years old on Soundcloud. Now, her latest album, When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?, has been streamed more than 2 billion times. At one point, 14 of her songs were in the Top 100, breaking the record for most simultaneous songs in the Top 100 for any female artist ever. Between the stream records and the sold-out concerts, it’s safe to say Eilish is successful.

Her success does come at a price, including once coming down with multiple stress-induced rashes, according to her doctor. Once, her home address was leaked and some obsessive fans showed up, leading to her having to have a bodyguard sleep in the living room.

“It was really traumatizing,” Eilish revealed. “I completely don’t feel safe in my house anymore, which sucks. I love my house.”

Her work is demanding, taking her away from family and friends for longer than she would like.

“It’s annoying,” she said. “I have this amazing thing in front of me, and I don’t want to hate it. And I don’t hate it. But I hate certain parts of it.”

She also revealed that fame isn’t exactly how people imagine it to be.

“I’ve loved attention my whole life,” Eilish goes on, “but I don’t think anyone knows what fame actually is. Because if I did want to be famous — it wasn’t this kind.”

Eilish showed interviewers from Rolling Stone a journal of hers, recounting when she suffered from a bout of depression that began when she attended dancing classes.

“At dance, you wear really tiny clothes,” she says. “And I’ve never felt comfortable in really tiny clothes. I was always worried about my appearance. That was the peak of my body dysmorphia. I couldn’t look in the mirror at all.”

Eilish says this year has been good to her.

“I haven’t been depressed in a minute, which is great,” she says. “Seventeen has probably been the best year of my life. I’ve liked 17.”

She also revealed that she feels for her fans who may be experiencing the same things she did.

“Sometimes I see girls at my shows with scars on their arms, and it breaks my heart,” she said. “I don’t have scars anymore because it was so long ago. But I’ve said to a couple of them, ‘Just be nice to yourself.’ Because I know. I was there.”

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Bryan Le grew up in the 90's, so the Internet is practically his third parent. This combined with a love for journalism led him to The Fix. When he isn't fulfilling his duties as Editorial Coordinator, he's obsessing over fancy keyboards he can't justify buying. Find Bryan on LinkedIn or Twitter