Bella Hadid On Past Depression: "I Would Cry Every Single Morning"

By Desiree Bowie 11/19/19

“I feel guilty for being able to live this incredible life, have the opportunities that I do, but somehow still be depressed. It doesn’t make sense.”

Image: 
Bella Hadid
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Supermodel Bella Hadid is in a good place. She recently opened up about her private battle with depression at the Vogue Fashion Festival in Paris. The in-demand model describes feeling conflicted about feeling depressed in the midst of a thriving career that saw her working with fashion greats like the late Karl Lagerfield and Tom Ford.

“For a while I just didn’t want to talk about it, and I’ve gone through a lot in the past few years with my health,” she said. “I feel guilty for being able to live this incredible life, have the opportunities that I do, but somehow still be depressed. It doesn’t make sense.”

Emotional Instability

Depression can affect anyone, regardless of social status or economic background. Despite her storybook life, Hadid was struggling with depression symptoms. 

“I would cry every single morning, I would cry during my lunch breaks, I would cry before I slept," she said. "I was very emotionally unstable for a while when I was working 14-hour days for four months straight as an 18-year-old. I think I just wanted to breathe a little bit. And so it kind of put me in a spiral."

Last month, Hadid took to Instagram to give a spotlight to those living with depression:

She wrote, “Yesterday was mental health awareness day. A struggle that I know a majority of us have dealt with in the past or [are] dealing with currently. And if not, you probably know someone who is…something that I have been dealing with for a few years but [am] finally at a point where it doesn’t consume me as much as before.”

While Hadid is doing better, she still has  “bad days along with the good, but [I’m] grateful and proud of myself to be in the place that I am today.”

Hadid decided that speaking out about living with depression was important.

“I feel like I would be doing a disservice to myself if I didn’t speak about something such as mental health, because that’s pretty much what I’ve been going through for the past five years very intensely," Hadid said. "Now we’re here and we’re good, but it took a while."

Gigi's Anxiety

Gigi Hadid, Bella's older sister, has also spoken out about mental health, specifically dealing with anxiety. During a panel for Reebok, Gigi detailed how being in the public eye can take its toll on your psyche. She described how the pressure to live up to this perfect image has left her with anxious feelings.

To combat the pressure, Gigi has taken social media breaks and uses positive affirmations to help her cope. 

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Desiree Bowie is a writer and movie lover from Los Angeles, California. Follow her on Twitter @dangerbowie

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