8 Reasons Sober Dating Is the Best Kind

By The Fix staff 06/20/19

You never need to wonder if you were engaging in bad behavior after too many drinks.

man and woman eating ice cream on a sober date

Diving back into the dating pool once you're sober can seem like jumping into the ocean without any life raft. However, it doesn’t have to be that scary. The truth is, dating sober allows you to avoid many pitfalls of dating and find genuine connection sooner.

Here are 8 reasons why connecting directly with other sober singles is the best way to find love.

1. You’re dating someone with amazing will to live.

People who are in recovery from substance use disorder have overcome incredible challenges. Anyone who has tried to kick a habit knows how much hard work and determination goes into getting sober.

When you connect with other sober singles, you are connecting with people who have overcome the odds and survived a life-threatening illness. With that shared new lease on life you’ll have many adventures ahead.

2. You’ll never have to wonder what you did last night.

When you’re structuring all your dates around drinking, it’s easy to get carried away. Most people have had the experience of cringing after a date remembered something awkward that they said or did when liquid courage got the best of them.

When you’re dating sober, you don’t have to worry about whether or not you were on bad behavior after too many drinks. You’ll remember all of your dates, and will have many fewer cringe-worthy moments.

3. You can focus on genuine connections.

How many times in the past have you gone out with someone you didn’t really like, just because they were fun to party with? When you’re focused on finding genuine connections, you’re not going to continue dating someone purely because they know how to have a (substance-filled) good time.

When you connect with other sober singles you’re able to quickly judge whether there is chemistry or not. That way, you can focus on the people who matter, and move on from those who are not a good fit.

4. They’ve examined their flaws.

Living in recovery requires you to take an honest inventory of your flaws. Once you’ve done that, it’s hard to be in a relationship with another person who isn’t willing to work on themselves.

By dating other sober singles, you raise your chances of connecting with someone who is open about their flaws, and willing to do the work to heal them. What could be sexier than watching someone continue to grow into their best self?

5. You can focus on your sober life.

Drinkers and non-drinkers can co-exists and even have happy relationships. Still, there is something nice about knowing that your partner won’t be drinking or using around you.

By dating other people in recovery you know that you won’t be put in the awkward position of sipping water while your date downs a cocktail, or watching your husband habitually crack a cold one to relax after work.

6. They’re not afraid of deep topics.

If you’re looking for someone to share deep and meaningful conversations with, dating someone who is sober is a great idea. After all, people in recovery have talked through traumas, illnesses and near-death experiences.

When you’re dating another sober single you can skip the small talk and have conversations about your higher power, your will to live, and the why that helped you achieve sobriety.

7. You have a built in support system.

No one can support an addict like another addict. Unless you’ve been desperate for another hit, you don’t know the feelings that addiction can bring. Even the most beloved people in your life can only relate so much if they haven’t experienced addiction first hand.

When you date someone in recovery, you are tapping into a support system that can help you on the tough days. You won’t need to explain why you need to go to a meeting, or take a late-night call with your sponsor. Instead, you loved one will support you, because they know on a personal level how important these things are to maintaining your sobriety.

8. They understand that recovery comes first.

Perhaps the best thing about dating someone else who is sober is that you’ll never have to explain the importance of your sobriety. They know that without recovery, there can be no relationship, and they will support you in prioritizing your program.

Clean Sober Dating connects people in recovery who are looking for love.

Please read our comment policy. - The Fix

The Fix staff consists of the editor-in-chief and publisher, a senior editor, an associate editor, an editorial coordinator, and several contributing editors and writers. Articles in Professional Voices, Ask an Expert, and similar sections are written by doctors, psychologists, clinicians, professors and other experts from universities, hospitals, government agencies and elsewhere. For contact and other info, please visit our About Us page.