Man "Addicted to Porn" Tries to Marry His Computer | The Fix
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Man "Addicted to Porn" Tries to Marry His Computer

A man claiming he fell in love with his porn-filled computer files a suit to legalize his union, but his motivations are politically suspect.

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By Bryan Le

05/07/14

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A Florida judge has thrown out the motion of one man "addicted to porn" to marry his own "porn filled Apple computer."

Chris Sevier, an attorney, music producer, "former Judge Advocate and combat veteran" claimed he was intervening on Florida's landmark same sex marriage case on behalf of "other minority sexual orientation groups." In his 24-page motion he argued that if gay couples "have the right to marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts, then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object."

The motion continued in part:

Recently, I purchased an Apple computer. The computer was sold to me without filters to block out pornography. I was not provided with any warning by Apple that pornography was highly addictive and could alter my reward cycle by the manufacturer. Over time, I began preferring sex with my computer over sex with real women. Naturally, I 'fell in love' with my computer and preferred having sex with it over all other persons or things, as a result of classic conditioning upon orgasm.

Judge Robert Hinkle did not find Sevier's arguments particularly compelling or amusing. "Chris Sevier has moved to intervene, apparently asserting he wishes to marry his computer," he wrote in his April 24th ruling. "Perhaps the motion is satirical. Or perhaps it is only removed from reality. Either way, the motion has no place in this lawsuit."

Sevier has before been banned from practicing law in Tenessee in 2011 for "mental infirmity or illness" and has a history of similarly strange suits, including an attempt to sue Apple for selling him a computer that brought on his alleged porn addiction.

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