Sobriety Of The Mind and Body
In the Big Book, it states "we do not have the luxury of a negative thought." I remind myself of this every day. As an alcoholic a negative thought held onto can lead me to drink. So I want to avoid that thought. I do so by getting up in the morning with enough time to meditate and read something life-affirming. If I do not do these things negative thoughts will have a field day in my brain. I must do this. If I miss my mourning routine I might as well not even get out of bed because I am going to make mountains of any molehill that comes my way. When I drank I loved being angry at anything and everything. I had a lot to be angry about and I took those things and made them as big as possible. I would drink to blow off the steam of these problems and feel justified in doing so. Now that I have excavated all my blame, justified anger, and righteous indignation I am free to deliberately create a joyful life. If I latch onto a negative thought it will grow so quickly it is shocking. I don’t want to do that to myself anymore. It is not fun to tighten up every muscle in my body and send rage through all of my cells. Does it still happen? Of course, it still does but can I avoid it 90% of the time? Yes! Yes, I can and do. How? It takes a routine, it takes loving myself more than I love hating what other people do and say. It takes practice and patience. Is it worth it? Yes! It is priceless. I can enjoy the love I have for myself now that I do not ruminate on how awful others are or how awful everything is. I have gratitude. I have an appreciation for a life well-lived. I do not have control over a negative thought coming into my head that would be impossible. What I do have control over is my second thought. The second thought is where the power is. Where strength and integrity come from. That second thought is everything to me. It is the difference between responding versus reacting, being proactive instead of reactive, and being joyful instead of miserable. That second thought creates a life made from love rather than a life built from fear. It is thinking with my heart. It is keeping my body and mind sober one day at a time.