Ramblings of a Recovering Junky
Today as I post this, hoping it does get put up, I am 819 days clean. I will continue to put up my journey as I started to write a lot during my recovery and continue to do so as it is a consistent journey. There is no destination, just getting by one day at a time.
So, where would I begin with this project, tell you who I am, I don’t think that is important, I am Justin and I’m an addict, there you go. This is the memoir of the ‘Average Joe’, I am not a has been musician who lost it all to drugs, a movie star that fucked up and came back in a suit of armor (you know who I am talking about) I am you, just a normal guy on the road to recovery and embracing it like I have a new born in my arms. I want to read a memoir in the prose of an addict, as in, how do they think/feel, how do they act? In sobriety I have become quite manic and in these manic moments my first action is to write and write a lot! I’d have to find the time to go through all the crap I had written, the timelines and dates etc. it’ll be all over the place, but I could most definitely get it down and just do it! ‘Justin and his Ramblings’ a series of ‘fucked up vignettes’, I had never been great at grammar or being known as someone who writes like J. K. Rowling, Dennis Lehane or Stephen ‘fucking’ King. There are so many I could list, especially for what this is, a memoir. People like ‘David & Nic Sheff’, Amy Dresner, Nikki Sixx, Steven Adler, they are a force of talent when it comes to telling their stories and it is inspiring. Nikki Sixx with ‘Heroin Diaries’ was just… WOW. Me? I write how I speak, which is a thousand words a sentence, over caffeinated and fuck it, if it makes sense as I write then it’ll make sense if the reader just goes back over what doesn’t make sense to them because guess what? Junkies are not known for their ‘methodical thinking’, I’d write it as a Junky, the mindset that is… While I am talking to you about a movie, I had watched the night before, I am also thinking about how I am going to get my next few balloons and how I am going to get to work if I use the diesel money toward said balloons! I loved it! The whole thing gave me a kick! I would finally write something that would make this whole sobriety thing fun whilst also being, of course, life changing and for the better, but I could still be that crazy fucking black sheep of the family by reliving that life. I love my family, the girls are my world and for them I would do anything, but with work and those people that are happy and do life without anything yet are so fucking smiley?! How do they do that? Fuck knows, what I do know is that I am quite the depressive, manic, obsessive Junky and I need a mission, an aim if you will, to do something and obsess over that something and get to it!
Get to it I did!
I had spoken to a few people about art, at first, I wanted to have illustrations, clearly, I was reading Fear & Loathing and other HST works a little too much, I wanted a Ralph Steadman to my Hunter Thompson. But I was no HST and I didn’t have a Steadman. What I did have was balls. I contacted someone I looked up to all my teenage years, he owned a skateboard company called ‘Heroin Skateboards’ (fitting, right?) I contacted him about who I was, what I was doing etc. and the next morning he had sent over a few sketches he had done for the title and I was ecstatic, another natural high! How fucking cool! The guy did this for me, Mark Foster (FOS) is a legend and he is an insane artist, great! He’d even drew me, a sketch, but what I loved was the title and the typography and the simple fact he did this for me… So, I had the title and the content. I just now have to compile and compartmentalise all this craziness so here goes…
Ramblings of a Recovering Junky