Managing and Respecting Boundaries- A Guided Boundary Meditation

By cjbrecovery 03/22/19
boundary graphic

I have struggled with addiction for years, and within the last year I have discovered the serenity that comes with meditation. Just a few minutes a day (sometimes twice a day) really helps me. I am including a link to a YouTube video and the text of this meditation I wrote for people who struggle with their own boundaries and the boundaries of others.


Link to Youtube video of this meditation

 

This is a boundary meditation, to help you find a way to understand and respect the boundaries of others, and to help define personal boundaries that other people will respect. Please find a quiet and restful place where you will not be disturbed, and where you can meditate safely. You may be seated in a comfortable chair, with both feet firmly planted on the floor. You may also prefer to sit up with your feet raised, on a sofa or bed. As you clear your mind, imagine a purple light growing slowly from your body. Imagine it surrounding your feet and legs as it meanders up towards your torso and head. This light comforts you as you settle into your quiet space. You can imagine that this soft light surrounds your body; it doesn’t protect you, but it comforts you. You cannot see it, but you feel it just the same, and it grows and retreats slightly with each breath.

In through your nose,

Out through your mouth

In through your nose,

Out through your mouth

In through your nose,

Out through your mouth

Now imagine that you are in a place that is not quiet and restful, where your boundaries will be tested. You are traveling by yourself on a train or a bus or airplane, and it is crowded. You find a comfortable seat next to a person that you find interesting. They are reading a book, and it is a book that you had recently read and enjoyed. It is about a young woman learning about herself as she travels across the country. You want to talk to the reader. You look at them, and see that they are very involved in their book, and not putting it down. You then realize that this person has put up a boundary, and they do not want to be disturbed by discussion, or your thoughts, or sharing. You think this is unreasonable, and that people should communicate and be open with each other, but this person’s boundary says no. Do not disturb. You decide to lean back and listen to music that relaxes you. You close your eyes and imagine yourself in the clouds looking down at yourself; you imagine you are looking down at all the people and see their energy, their aura that defines their personal space. Each person looks equal and you lose yourself in the crowd as you become one of many.

As you open your eyes, you are no longer on the train, but on the beach. You are standing where you can only see ocean and sand. The rolling of ocean matches your breath

In through your nose

Out through your mouth

In through your nose

Out through your mouth

In through your nose

Out through your mouth

You watch the sea gulls trace fine invisible tracks in the sky, swerving as if guided by strong lines like feathered kites. Their calls soothe you as it blends in with the roar of the ocean. The air is cool, and blowing strongly. It wraps around you, as if to guide you to a safe space. You stand there as steadily as you can, but desiring for the wind to lift you up so you can float in the sky with the gulls. You feel the warm sand firmly holding you down as your closed eyes follow the broad horizon. You are carrying your blanket and want to find a quiet place for it.

You see a crowd of people and you think they are attractive. You want to spend the afternoon staring at them. Then you think about how you would be objectifying them. Even though they may not be aware of your thoughts and fantasies. You choose a more isolated area, where you cannot see or hear anyone. Today, here and now, your boundaries are calling for solitude. You spread your blanket on the sand and lie down on top of the sand. You barely feel the wind on your body, but instead invite the sun to warm you. Your eyes are closed, but you hear the gulls and the ocean. You feel the sand press against your back. You focus on your space and how you are glad that there is no one near you. You know that you cannot stay here for long, but you stay long enough to feel the water inch up and scrape your feet. You stay silent, breathing deliberately until you feel the water touch your feet again. You are ready to sit up and open your eyes.

Steady your breathing as you slowly open your eyes and pay attention to the surroundings. If there are others nearby you can acknowledge their presence, but do not encroach on their boundaries. As you become aware of where you are and who you are, you will understand the boundaries of others are very important. Even if your own boundaries are porous and minimal, the boundaries of others can be firm and resolute and as strong as granite. Thank you for listening to this boundary meditation. Please come back if you feel that your boundaries or your treatment of the boundaries of others need reinforcing.

 

Link to Youtube video of this meditation


 

I hope you found this helpful.

 

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