Have you ever been to a recovery meeting and felt so inspired that you walked out saying to yourself, WOW, I made a difference? Well, last night, I felt so good to be in recovery and so incredibly proud to have helped one of my fellow brothers through his struggles.
Tuesday night is my night! Tuesday's is my home room, it's the room I first entered when I decided to start my journey to recovery; it's the room that opened its arms to me and guided me along my path to RESPONSIBLE SOBRIETY. So, as you can probably surmise, as long as I can breath, I truly enjoy attending my Tuesday night meeting.
The chair for the meeting this particular night, an awesome chap with numerous years of sobriety under his belt chose a wonderful topic for discussion. Tuesday's rendezvous is a discussion style approach, where each of us gets to share either on the topic of discussion, Step 1 (which as a recovering alcoholic I can tell you, we can never get enough of Step 1) or any subject that has been on your mind, which you'd like to share with the group.
Finally, our chair always throws out a innocuous question, also known as Question 62, because as Bill W so eloquently remarked, we shouldn't take ourselves so damn seriously. It's also an ice breaker, purposely conceived to brings humour to a room which is about to delve into very personal issues, which can be traumatic, extremely thought provoking and very real and raw to the senses. Therefore, the levity helps to lighten the load, especially in cases when reality comes straight from the heart of the suffering.
Last night's topic was how each of us uses patience to deal with the struggles of those around us. The subject was extremely topical because I had just had a conversation with my ROCK, the LOVE of my life on a similar subject. So, I was ready to participate and share my thoughts on the subject. My share was based on when I'm comfronted with events, situations or people that I can not control; my go to therapy is the SERENITY PRAYER- 'God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things that I can and the Wisdom to know the difference. It's always been there for me when I needed help understanding and it continues to serve me well. What happened next will mark me for some time.
The next person to share, we'll call him John for the purpose of our discussion because as you know, anonymity is the foundation of all our principles was extremely intense and highly inspirational.
John began by sharing how he wasn't sure why he was with us. His day was horrendous, he found himself in an argument at work, where the person he was talking with wouldn't give any credence to his point of view. The argument degenerated to the point where he was told, 'John, I don't give a f*** what you think!!'. John's facial expression showed it all, his fist clenched, his teeth grinding; a hush came over the room, a room which is always vociferous.
John continued his share by telling us how he so wanted a drink, that he was trying anything to kill the urge to return to a former life; a life he left behind three years ago. His story continues about how he drove at an excessive speed to get to the sporting goods store because he was going to get some running shoes and hit the track, something he hadn't done in twenty years. You could feel the intensity, the desire not to drink but the lure of it to stop the pain. He tried calling a friend, a mate who could talk him through his anger, the intense burning desire in his gut to just end the whole sober life and stop the intense shame he was feeling.
John's intensity was remarkable, his choice of words was deliberate. Listening to his share, you could only feel for this man, in his time of need and desire to find the hope, love and words to ease his pain. The serenity prayer, which I spoke about prior to John, which has always sustained me in times of difficulty was out there, hoping that he may cling to a simple phrase that could move him from anger and resentment to love and understanding.
It was at this point that a revelation came over him. Hearing the serenity prayer, those simple words of hope and understanding that I had uttered moments before changed his perspective. You could see the pressure level lower in his facial expression. He was forever grateful for making the meeting and not succumbing to the external desire, which brought him to the rooms three years earlier. At this moment, he describe how the MAGIC is derived, not just in these rooms but the people who pour their heart and soul into finding a path to redemption, to recovery, to abstinence and sobriety.
John, if you get the chance to read this blog, thank you for honouring me by your words. To be in these rooms is to purposefully acknowledge my life became powerless over alcohol and unmanageable. To be in these rooms is to share my experiences and to learn from others. To be in these rooms is to feel the MAGIC and help my fellow brothers and sisters feel the thrill you so honoured me with for just being myself and loving my fellow man.....THIS ONE'S FOR YOU JOHN!!
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