It Takes A Team!
I have said it before in a joking way that it takes a Team for me to stay clean.
The longer I stay sober, the more I realize that it really DOES take a Team,
And there is no "I" in Team.
Teamwork is critical for me when it comes to sobriety and reaching goals.
I realize that I simply can not do it alone.
I am an active player on the team, and also the captain of the team.
Lucky for me, that means I get to pick most of my players .
My team is made up of like minded individuals.
People who have the same goals and desires, and who are helping me to stay in the game.
I am thankful for everyone who is on my team and playing the game of life with me.
My sponsor, who encourages me to call her when I need advice or to talk.
I am learning to ask for help, it's certainly progress not perfection in my case.
My therapist who listens patiently, and gives me the advice to " sit with my uncomfortable feelings, invite them in to sit next to me, as they are there already".
That's a tough one, but I am learning to live with those darn weird and uncomfortable feelings in sobriety.
My friends, and the new comers in AA who share exactly how I am feeling, with out me having said a word. Sometimes it is good to sit back and listen!
My church family who share my love for God, and the desire to walk in obedience and deny our selfish desires. "Thy will be done ... not mine"!
My husband, who is there for me in sobriety, even though it's still foreign and weird.
Our marriage and family life was centered around alcohol before I got sober.
My son, who inspires me to be the best mom I can be, and that starts with being a sober mom.
My parents, and my sister who are proud of me for making such a major life change.
I might be the captain of my team, but my team is ran by my head coach, God.
I take my orders from my higher power, and I have found that it is the ONLY way the team runs smoothly.
God calls the plays and the shots, even though at times I act like I do.
Recently I have been struggling with those weird and uncomfortable feelings concerning my annual office Christmas party, and the over abundance of alcohol.
In active addiction I LOVED those parties.
I couldn't wait to get tore up and laugh with the gang.
Even though I usually didn't make it home without throwing up out the window as my husband drove my drunk ass home.
Even though I used to save my cocktail straws from my drinks, so I could count them, because I usually downed so many I lost track.
Even though I often ended up turning into the late night flasher by the end of the night. Classy, right?
I have recently come to realize that my work crew are NOT on my team.
They are my co workers who have no idea of my struggle with drugs and alcohol.
And that's ok, I don't owe them an explanation as to why I no longer drink.
It's not any of their business, it is mine and my teammates.
I have avoided some office parties in early sobriety because I just don't feel strong enough at this point to be around all the craziness, and that's ok too.
It's ok to put myself and my family first.
And it's ok to acknowledge my limits and my weakness.
I guess I have finally come to realize that I can't defeat my demons if I still enjoy their company.
Lucky for me, I now enjoy the company and fellowship of MY team better than the opposing team.
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