Home School for Parents Of Addicts

By jbwritergirl 11/07/18

To be the parent of an addict, the basic requirements are fairly simple! Some creativity is allowed, but in general the rules are the same yet slightly different.

we learn to tolerate pain…in exchange for hope because hope is the only lifeline we have.

…we discover a new kind of loneliness no one can abate because our head is flooded by every worst-case-scenario, every terrifying nightmare, every 'what if' known to man.

…we learn to bear the weight of fear like a mother fucking Goddess.

…we learn that unconditional love is bloody tough when your spirit and your heart are constantly engaged in a battle weary war, a war you didn’t anticipate or start, a war you are forced to participate in.

…we learn to be proud for our friends kids because our Kodak moments no longer exist.

…we learn that there are only two types of sober dates…1-when our child stops using or…2-when we lay them to rest.

…we learn how to plan a funeral even though we are planning it for a living, breathing, person.

…we learn to be on call 24/7.

…we cheerlead for our children even though all we want to do is crawl into a hole and die because dying seems a far easier task.

…while you drive your child to the mall, we drive ours to clinics, rehabs, doctors, meetings, and emergency rooms. Occasionally, if we’re really lucky, we drive them to a non-confrontational coffee date.

…while you carry Advil in your purse, we carry Narcan so we can bring an overdosed child back to life.

…where you are delighted when a friend calls you on the phone to catch up, we die a little every time the phone rings because it could be ‘that’ call from the police, the hospital, or the coroners office.

…where you recall memories of pushing your child on that tire swing fastened to a tree by a sturdy rope, we hope that the knot at the end of the rope we struggle to hold on to doesn’t come untied from wear.

…where you boast about your beautiful family dinners, we stare at an empty chair and wonder if our child has eaten today…or yesterday…or the day before that.

…where you watch your child blow out their birthday candles, we light a candle and place it in the front window as a sign of hope and love for our addicts.

…where you surf the internet on Amazon, we surf the net for arrest records and headlines for unidentified bodies.

…where you complain about that yoga class that nearly killed you, we are totally broken just by trying to get out of bed some days.

…where you go off on those girl/guy weekend getaways, we’re afraid to leave our house because we might be needed to rush to a hospital or to identify a body.

…where you wonder if your child would like to go shopping at Forever 21, we wonder if our child will live to 21.

…where you love it when people just pop in for a surprise visit, we dread that because things can pile up pretty quickly when we spend a lot of our time on the streets searching for our child.

…while you’re off having that wonderful manicure, we dig bare handed in our garden so we can have some alone time to weep, to calm our anxiety, or to try to just not think for a while.

…where you cry for joy, we just cry at a moments notice.

…where you go to church so you’re part of your community, we go to church to bury our dead.

…when you are living the dream, we dream that we are living.

…where you save for your children’s future, we spend every waking moment wondering if our child has a future!

We are the mom’s of addicted children!

We stand together and support each other through good and bad times!

We hold each other up!

We exchange information to help each other.

We cry together (and sometimes laugh together).

We are the Addict's Mom!


We are #momstrong


Join the conversation, become a Fix blogger. Share your experience, strength, and hope, or sound off on the issues affecting the addiction/recovery community. Create your account and start writing: https://www.thefix.com/add-community-content.