Having A Bad Day
Is it just me or does everyone have those days when you could use just one drink, one hit, one small taste? You know it won't hurt anything if you have just one. You have been sober for a long time so why would it matter if you just took the edge off? You are your own person and you know you can stop any time you want to if you have more than one. It can't be that hard to stop since it's been such a long time.
This is the conversation that you should not have with yourself. It is the road to relapse for those that are in recovery. This is a conversation to have with a sponsor, a friend, a family member, or anyone that is in your corner to keep you on the straight an narrow when it comes to your sobriety. This conversation will get you in trouble every time.
Be honest, is your sobriety in jeopardy? Tell someone that you need some help. When you are having a bad sobriety day, which will happen, tell somebody. When you are overly stressed out and would rather isolate yourself, tell someone. Does everything seem to be going haywire in your life, talk to someone about your feelings. Has someone close to you dumped on you and you don't understand why or just don't appreciate what they have been saying, talk to someone and tell them what is going on...don't wait.
Today has been a day, I have had two people tell me that their brother passed away. My son lost the information on his IPhone because it locked up and he was hollering about that for two days. The oldest grandchild has been around his mother, naturally, and has been being really disrespectful to his daddy and it hurt his heart. Someone tried to break into the house in the middle of the night and I thank God for my dog! And to top it off, I am still sick from 3 weeks ago.
Yes, I could use something to take the edge off but I know better. My sobriety is not in jeopardy but had this been 10 years ago, I think I would probably be sitting on a bar stool with a double Tanqueray gin and cranberry. This has been a long, long, week and thank God for sobriety longevity. I hope that I never get into trouble with my sobriety because I would hate to begin again because I have over 20 years clean.
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