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So this is the experience of one addict. My feelings as best I can remember. I didn’t plan on being an addict, but I was always curious about drugs. I just never felt comfortable in my own skin, my own mind. I wanted to feel free and not to worry and be anxious all the time. When I started this journey I didn’t realize this free feeling was to become my prison for the next twenty or so years.
It all started as fun times. I’m not going to lie I had some great times high, but at the end it wasn’t for fun. It became a necessity of life. My world revolved around it. It was why I woke up in the morning and I would do whatever it to get it. I loved to hate it. Getting it, doing it, was all high for me. This is addiction. The drug life. This is our Generation, Generation H, but there is hope after Heroin.
When I think back I can still hear the beeping of the machines by my bed side. My whole body ached and I could see my feet sticking out with those brown Hospital socks. You know the ones that have the ridges so you can’t fall. A man sat in a chair at my doorway guarding my room. I tried to get up, but I was connected to machines. How did I get here? How did I get to this point in my life. I think at that moment I had hit my bottom. I just couldn’t do this anymore. I wanted to live, not to just exist.
Here I am now and my life is completely different. I control my life, not a substance. It’s been a rough road, but it is possible to live without drugs and alcohol. Today I am in a wonderful relationship. I have my family, my friends, and my dogs. I will always be an addict, but don’t have to be an active one. So if you are out there struggling, don’t give up hope. I never thought I could survive without drugs, but here I am. So let us make this Generation H, Generation R. We can Recover!
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