5 Honest Sober Tips For Anyone Wanting To Take Their Life Back
In this article we are going to discuss sober tips that can apply to anyone and everyone.
To get straight to the point you don’t have to drink or do drugs to be an addict. So many people associate the word “sobriety” with an addiction or alcoholism, but it goes far beyond that.
What about those people who don’t drink or do drugs yet still seem restless, irritable and discontent? As in, they act like an addict in many ways.
In this definition on sobriety what I find interesting is this statement: “Sobriety is also considered to be the natural state of a human being at birth”
So if we are born holistically sober, what changes and how do we get back there?
I know the details of my own story and what had to change, of course, but I will never presume to know your life nor tell you what to do.
However, I believe addicts and non-addicts alike can use the following tips to suss out if something tangible or intangible has taken over their life and if a time has come to change.
Sober Tips # 1: Ask Yourself “Does This Offer Me Value?”
It’s really quite simple. You literally ask yourself that question in relation to something in your life. And if you say “no,” well then there might be something there to think about.
It’s easy to apply this question to things like alcohol and drugs because they are tangible.
For instance in 2017 I had to ask myself, “Does alcohol provide a value to my life?”
And my answer was, “No. Not only does it make me feel like shit and make me believe I am weak and a failure. It also makes me lose control, blackout, forget time and space, makes me anxious, intensifies my depression and make me want to kill myself. It also quite literally devalues my life by emptying my bank account.”
So…yeah. That was a pretty clear answer for me which is why I eventually got sober and even though I did not like the answer the question was a good starting point.
But what about things like love, dating, work, shopping, sex, food, tv, marriage, social media etc.? Things that are intangible, or emotional, or metaphysical?
It’s not my place to tell you “yes” or “no,” but I guess the simplest thing I can offer is…
….if something does not make you feel good about yourself, what value is it offering you?
Sobriety Tips # 2: Think About “Do I Ever Feel Out Of Control?”
If a voice in your head cries, “STOP!” but you cannot. It’s okay.
Addiction, in whatever form it takes, is insidious and will make us do things and act in ways not even we understand sometimes.
Oftentimes that means having absolutely no impulse control or the ability to stop. It means we can’t say “no” even if we are trying to say “no” to ourselves.
And it’s not your fault so please stop beating yourself up.
I used to equate the lack of control to that of a marionette. It was like an out of body experience when I drank cause my mind knew getting more alcohol was a bad idea, but someone else was pulling the strings.
And it’s not an excuse because I’ve owned up to my choices and the subsequent results whether good or bad. It’s just a very helpless feeling when the itch and thirst takes over.
You can have the best intentions. You can know what not to do. Eventually you just give in because the urge is just too strong and it’s maybe one of the most helpless feelings ever.
So if you wake up from a binge or a blackout and you find yourself repeating, “Damn. I did it again. Why can’t I just stop?”
Listen to that. It’s okay. Release the guilt and shame around it and just accept that you can’t control it.
If you are out of control with something other than alcohol or drugs, and you have the exact same thoughts above...
...it’s okay. You’re not alone and there is nothing wrong with you.
Tips For Getting Sober # 3: Envision Your Life Without It
Can you see your life without alcohol? What would it be like to be at a party drinking water while everyone else “enjoyed” the libations? What does it look like when everyone else is going out Friday night to the bars and you’re not?
What if you didn’t get stoned this weekend? What if you couldn’t take a hit off that pipe to calm your nerves? What if there were no more edibles to subdue the anxiety inside?
What would life be like single and celibate? Can you see yourself comfortably alone and going to bed with no one by your side every night? What would it feel like to stop searching for that “perfect” partner?
What would it be like to stop working at 5pm or, better yet, walk away from a job you hate yet are tied to because of the money and “security” it provides. Don’t forget about that 401K and retirement plan. What happens when you think about that not existing?
If any of these thoughts give you anxiety, make you feel scared, and you find yourself saying…
...I can’t imagine my life without it.
Maybe it’s time to start re-evaluating your relationship with whatever it may be for you and your story.
Tips To Get Sober # 4: Try Stopping And Taking A Break
Pretty simple really; just walk away.
What’s that feel like to you though? Can you go a day, or a week, or a month without “cravings”?
If your mind is constantly racing and thinking of IT (whatever IT may be), pay attention to that. I’m not saying give your mind or body what it wants, but if you want to tak your life back you need to listen to your gut.
Obsession is usually a strong sign of addiction. If taking a break causes tunnel vision and nothing else exists, that’s a red flag. And it’s okay to have red flags. It happens to all of us because we are all human.
Go easy on yourself if taking a break only amplifies the desire. It's okay. There is nothing wrong with you. Just be open to the idea it might be time to change and walk away for good.
Tips On Getting Sober # 5: Accept That There Might Be A Problem
Although this is the final tip, this is the most important one because it is the first step in truly getting sober.
I talk about it at length in this post about how to stop drinking alcohol forever, but one thing I always say…
...you can’t find a solution to a problem without first and foremost naming the problem.
This does not mean you have to apply a label to it or yourself. Forget labels, this is just about being open to the idea that there might be a problem.
And all that it really means is that maybe at some point you might have to accept that you are powerless over whatever it is that you are struggling with.
And that’s okay.
I know there is so much stigma around the words “addiction” and “addict,” but there need not be. There is no shame, guilt, or weakness in not being able to say “no” to whatever has taken over your life.
We all struggle. You are not alone. Regardless of what the addiction or struggle may be I do believe it can be overcome.
I hope these tips help and I hope you find the courage to take the first steps towards living a truly sober life and becoming who you are meant to be.
Much life and much love, my friends!
Author’s Bio: Clark Webb's mission is to help everyone live a fearless, authentic and impeccable life by focusing on being the best they can be in mind, body and spirit. He posts regular content on his YouTube Channel as well as his Fearless Authentic Life Blog that he hopes will give everyone the tips, tools and insight needed to live their best life. He is first and foremost a parent and because of that honor feels compelled to not only guide his son towards an amazing life, but anyone else that wants to come along for the ride. Are you ready to live a fearless authentic life? If so, join him here!