1 Vulnerable Recovery Story: Change and Become Who You Are Meant To Be

By clarkwebb 07/16/21
vulnerable recovery story about change

“You are in danger of living a life so comfortable and soft, that you will die without ever realizing your true potential.” - David Goggins, Can't Hurt Me

I never considered my life comfortable and soft until I lost my mother to pancreatic cancer in 2014 and became a father almost at the same time. 

Technically speaking my son was born about one hundred days after my mom passed away; she was gone on November 23, 2014 and he was here on March 4, 2015.

The point is no one can anticipate having to experience two life events like those almost back to back. I most certainly was not prepared because at the beginning of June 2014 I had no idea my mom would be gone in less than six months let alone that I was going to be a dad a few months after that.

I don't know how to explain the dichotomy of all of this, but it nearly broke me. I watched my mother slowly fade and wither away (and quite literally) while my son grew in his mother's womb. 

I lost a parent while I became a parent.

Have you ever experienced something like this?

So many don't understand, but I do.

The truth is this duality broke me. Even in the face of being a new father I was drowning in grief. No only that, but my unnamed alcoholism was almost quite literally drowning me as well.

Grief and alcohol. 

It's a dangerous combo and it really can only lead one way; down. 

I hit rock bottom June of 2015 and that is when I realized that life was forcing me to change.

I'll spare you all of the details because that is not what this post is about. You can learn more about how my self growth and healing journey began, but in essence and over the course of the last six years…

  • I became friends with my grief
  • Went through bankruptcy
  • Battled alcoholism
  • Got sober
  • Relapsed
  • Got and stayed sober for good
  • Got divorced while learning to be sober
  • Started life all over with no money
  • 2020 and COVID happened and now...

...here we are.

And what do I have to show for it?

I have my sobriety, my mind, my body, my spirit and, most importantly, my son.

And where did it all begin?

When my mom died.

It's not meant to be a morbid statement. It's literally just a fact: my mother's death was the catalyst that forced me to change everything in my life in order to start becoming who I was meant to be for myself and my son.

This is my story of change. Would I prefer that my mom was here and I got to watch her and my son playing together? 

Hell yes, but that's not part of my story. I railed against that truth for a very long time, but once I released a hold on a future that I thought was intended for me that is when life started to truly change for the better.

Learn from my story. 

Don't wait for life to force you to change, but change nonetheless. Even if you think you have it all figured out, remember that life is a marathon and not a sprint. 

Becoming who you are meant to be takes a lifetime. It has to start somewhere, somehow and sometime. 

Do you have the courage to look within you and find what needs to shift in order to become who you are meant to be?

If so, what is one thing you can change starting today that will move you in that direction?

Clark Webb's mission is to help everyone live a fearless, authentic and impeccable life by focusing on being the best they can be in mind, body and spirit. He posts regular content on his YouTube Channel as well as his Blog: The F.A.I.L that he hopes will give everyone the tips, tools and insight needed to live their best life. He is first and foremost a parent and because of that honor feels compelled to not only guide his son towards an amazing life, but anyone else that wants to come along for the ride. Are you ready to live a fearless authentic life?

 

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