3 years sober and am sick of AA

I am a happy sober person. When I first left rehab I was in an AA meeting 3 hours later. Luckily I had a great easy going supportive sponsor who made me feel good about my recovery. I lead a great meeting on the beach once a week that I truly enjoy. BUT...I find a very intolerant mindset to all other AA meetings I attend. The lack of openness and acceptance has eliminated most AA meetings in Rhode Island where I live. I have tried to express myself in meetings basically on the subject of "My experience in recovery as opposed to You Must Do This in order to stay sober" In that meeting I felt there was going to be a brawl in the parking lot after.
Why is it so acceptable in my area to be intolerant ? Its like AA Bullys around here. A member who is making jokes about " Fags"???? I just don't get it. And the room laughs???
Then there is the fear that if you don't do everything there way you will in up dead? I have tried to always take away some good from every meeting even if it was Please God don't let me end up like that person ------------ fill in the blank years down the road. How is it a program with 12 steps can have so many miserable people after so many years of sobriety?