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I'm Not A Recovering Alcoholic (I Just Act Like One) - Page 2

By Jennifer Garam 01/23/12
She isn't a 12-Stepper, she just doesn't like to drink. You got a problem with that?
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I swear I'd drink if I wanted to! Photo via

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Today, the reason I don’t drink is different from my former desire to be compulsively productive. OK, not that different, but a little. Drinking makes me feel bad—physically and emotionally. Last year, I had two beers on a date and wound up puking until 4:30 p.m. the next day, and the guy affectionately started calling me The Girl With The Toddler Kidneys. The last time I drank at all was six months ago, and when I got home from the bar I felt so sad and lonely that I read an ex’s blog. Which, you guessed it, made me feel even sadder and lonelier. And not only am I drunk after half a beer, but I immediately feel foggy and checked-out. While at 14 I was desperate to escape, I don’t like doing things that take me away from myself anymore. Even though I’m not a recovering alcoholic, I want to live soberly, which to me means feeling present, alert, and like myself.

However, I often forget that I’m not really an alcoholic and I can actually drink from time to time if I feel like it. In fact, a recovering alcoholic once suggested that I drink more to help with my anxiety. You know, in cases where the Serenity Prayer isn’t cutting it. And I do love the taste of a cold bottle of Stella. But part of me still feels like I’m too busy to do something as frivolous as get a drink at a bar and possibly have to spend the next morning unproductively lying in bed. As a recovering workaholic though, I think it just might benefit me to loosen up on my sobriety a bit and take that advice now and then.

This piece originally appeared on The Frisky, a website for women who want to know how to dump someone nicely, debate whether jeggings are awesome or hideous, and care more about the Puppy Bowl than the Super Bowl. Jennifer Garam is a writer, Web editor, and blogger. In addition to contributing to The Frisky and blogging for Psychology Today, her writing has appeared on The Huffington Post, Health.com, Crazy Sexy Life, DivineCaroline.com, and in Interview Magazine. She also writes the blogs One Writeous Chick and NotSoZenYogaJen.

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