Man Wearing 'Who Needs Drugs?' T-Shirt Busted for Drug Possession

By McCarton Ackerman 01/08/15

In a bizarre turn of events, a Florida man's drug possession arrest goes viral thanks to his incriminating t-shirt.

Photo via Pasco Sheriff County Facebook

 John Balmer, 50, walked into a Kmart in Hudson, FL, with a shirt that read “WHO NEEDS DRUGS? No, seriously, I have drugs.” In a case of real-life truth in advertising, he was busted by a Pasco County sheriff’s deputy for trying to hand a “bag of leafy green substance” to a man in line behind them. But Balmer inadvertently left a bag on the ground containing marijuana and methamphetamine and was quickly arrested.

He was charged on one count of possession of methamphetamine and one count of possession of marijuana. To add further insult to injury, the sheriff’s office posted his photo on their social media and captioned it, “Pay close attention to the T-shirt.” The photo has since been removed from their Facebook page.

However, this wasn’t the first time that convicted drug felons have worn ill-advised shirts. Last November 37-year-old Deborah Delane Asher was arrested for possession of meth while wearing a t-shirt which read, “I love crystal meth.” One month earlier,  20-year-old Micah David Dailey wore a shirt that said, “Go Directly to Jail” while being busted in Florida for possessing less than 20 grams of marijuana.

Florida has a long and well-documented history of questionable antics. Last February, 46-year-old Guy Lanchester tried to get out of cocaine possession and evidence tampering charges by declaring that he didn’t know cocaine was illegal in the state.

In January 2012, a meth addict in Seminole County burned down the world’s fifth-oldest tree after using the drug inside of it. Sarah Barnes, 26, inadvertently torched the 3,500-year-old bald Cypress tree, but fled the scene immediately afterwards. However, police were able to use anonymous tips to track down Barnes after she showed people images of the fire that she downloaded to both her computer and cellphone. She reportedly told friends, “I can’t believe I burned down a tree older than Jesus.” After being confronted by authorities, she admitted to lighting the fire.

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McCarton Ackerman is a freelance writer and editor living in Portland, Oregon. He has been a contributor for The Fix since October 2011, writing on a wide range of topics ranging from medical marijuana in Colorado to the world's sexiest drug smugglers. Follow him on Linkedin and Twitter.