Friends Don't Let Friends Drink and Post

By Hunter R. Slaton 01/23/12

Sloshed "Missed Connections" make for passable found poetry.

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Craigslist's "Missed Connections" section. Photo via

Typically, "Missed Connections" on Craigslist are pedestrian affairs. Literally: "Sunday 22 around 3:30pm. We got off at union square and you were following me, then you went to whole foods." And so on. But the New York Times turned up a handful of more colorful "Drunk Connections" this weekend, and helpfully chopped them into some reasonable found (if inebriated) poetry, including this gem:

To Jennifer the Chinese Girl Who Drank and Passed Out

Jennifer the Chinese girl
who passed out.

You met me

the tall european guy

and I invited you for a drink.

I bought the half pitcher of sangria

You downed those three drinks

and I told you

you were drinking too fast

and to sip them

O.M.G. you passed out in the bathroom

and the owners called an ambulance

I feel so bad...

I never got your number

and I want to know

that you are OK.

And also:

Drunk Irish Guy to the Girl in the Red Tights on the Subway to Queens

drunk irish guy
to the girl in the red tights
on the subway to queens

i really hope
I did not creep you out...
I was so drunk
and you were so hot...

I wish I could have met you
at a different moment
and a different place.

Don't we all? The Beats would be proud.

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Hunter Slaton is the esports managing editor for Blizzard Entertainment. You can find hunter on Linkedin or follow him on Twitter.