Dealer Hangs Drugs on His "Tool of the Trade"

By McCarton Ackerman 04/12/12

Amazed cops bust a Philly man for tying 89 bags of heroin and cocaine to his "package."

Are those illegal drugs in your pocket?
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Here's something you won't see on America's Got Talent: 23-year-old Philly native Ray Woods was pulled over last weekend for a broken rear light and turned out to be in possession of no fewer than 89 small bags of heroin and cocaine—all tied to his penis. Cpl. Christopher Eiserman made the seemingly routine stop on Woods before discovering marijuana in the car. A further search of Woods revealed a "large bulge" in the front of his pants, before Eiserman discovered the even more impressive package. The situation became almost surreal when Woods began to urinate uncontrollably as Eiserman attempted to remove the drugs from the unit. "I've seen it down their pants, in their ass, but I've never seen it tied to their penis," said Eiserman in wonder. "I couldn't believe it. I guess they figure the police officers aren't going to check down in that area."

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McCarton Ackerman is a freelance writer and editor living in Portland, Oregon. He has been a contributor for The Fix since October 2011, writing on a wide range of topics ranging from medical marijuana in Colorado to the world's sexiest drug smugglers. Follow him on Linkedin and Twitter.