Courtney Comes Clean - Page 6

By Maer Roshan 05/22/11

Rock's troubled icon rages on about drugs, sex, rehab, plutocrats, Kurt Cobain, Andre Balazs, Gwyneth Paltrow, and snorting coke up Pamela Anderson's ass. (And that's just Part One.)

The Survivor: Courtney Love's most Intimate Interview Ever.

(page 6)

Did you pay them?

Yeah. Because I had a shitty lawyer. They made this huge deal about their luxurious premises and their gourmet chef. But fuck their chef! I mean, I was on Atkins at the time! I subsisted on cottage cheese and ham for 90 fucking days! But I do think 90 days is the magic number if you want to get sober—if you really want to stabilize, you need to go away somewhere for three months.

After you finished your 90 days, did you start drinking right away?

No! Well, yes. Just a little bit. With friends. I’ve never drunk alone in my entire life, though that’s certainly not the public perception. A few months ago, at a party in Hollywood, Scarlett Johansson did a pretty spot-on imitation of me. She wrapped a bandage around her boobs and tumbled down a flight of stairs with a bottle of Jack Daniels in her hands. But the truth is I’ve never had a drop of Jack Daniels. I hate the taste of hard alcohol. What I really like is wine.

You’ve probably been to a half-dozen rehabs over the years. Do you think it’s harder for celebrities to get proper treatment than it is for ordinary civilians? It must be difficult to open up about personal things when you’re the center of attention.

It depends on what rehab you go to. I mean, I wouldn’t want to end up at Dr. Drew’s place. He’s such a phony, that guy. When I was indicted on the coke possession charge, the judge insisted, “No fancy rehabs for you, Courtney Love!” So I ended up at Silver Hill in Connecticut, which isn’t a terrific place to detox. They’re very chintzy on the get-well drugs you need if going through benzo withdrawal. 

But I’ve come to the conclusion that most people don’t really need rehabs anyway. My theory is if you can’t kick dope or Oxys or coke on your own, then you’re just a fucking pussy. You just have to want to do it.

How do you think people perceive you these days?

It's hard to say.  There are so many lies out there. A while ago this movie came out called Last Days by Gus Van Sant, which purports to depict my life with Kurt. I’ve never deigned to see it myself, but I’ve read some reviews. [Sonic Youth’s] Kim Gordon is in it, and she supposedly shuffles around commenting sagely on Kurt’s final days. Which is ridiculous. The truth is that she was always an awful cocktease, and she was obsessed with my husband, but Kurt just hated her. It’s crazy that she’s presenting herself as his intimate friend. But the world is full of phonies.

Have you ever been in jail?

No. The closest I got was when the police nabbed me for possession of two pills, a Xanax and a Vicodin. The Vicodin, by the way, was expired. That didn’t stop them from putting me through about 30 fucking trials. They wouldn’t rest till they put me in jail, but I wore them out in the end.

How did they catch you in the first place?

The police got a warrant and just crashed into my house. When they turned up at my door I was a real smart-ass, I refused to let them in, so then they came back with a warrant. At the time I was I living at Dr. Phil’s house on Alpine. It was an awful place. I was intending to flip it, but it was decorated exactly like you’d think Dr. Phil would decorate his house. 

The problem is that the police department doesn’t approve of musicians with tattoos living on the West side of Sunset Boulevard. As long as we stay on our side of the border, we’re fine, but if you dare to cross over, you’d better watch out. 

At the time, I was getting bundles of blow delivered to my house by a mulatto in a Nissan with a dragging muffler. I was living three blocks from the fucking Beverly Hills Police Department, my bad! My house was also located two blocks from a school. The neighbors must have complained. But after that incident I didn’t cop for the rest of my life. Since then, no transaction involving money, a drug dealer and Courtney Love has occurred.

Well, I take it you’ve done a few drugs since then. So how did you pay for them?

Well, I don’t really do street drugs anymore. My medications are all legally prescribed by prominent physicians. But back in the day, if I wanted to score coke, I’d find someone else to do the deed, and pay him a bitch tax as a reward. 

A big part of the 12 steps is making amends to people you’ve hurt. Have you had to make lots of apologies since you’ve tried to become sober?

Oh my God, so many god-damn amends… [Legendary music producer] Jimmy Iovine even framed my amends letter to him in the lobby of Interscope Records. My letter said, “Dear Jimmy, I was on a whole lot of drugs for a few years and I sued you. I feel like a retard, I’m sorry, please accept my apology.” He was cool with it. I then tried to make similar amends to my old manager, Peter Mensch, which didn’t turn out quite as well. I wrote the same thing, “Sorry I went out and fucked that asshole, I should have taken your advice. You were right, I was wrong, and I was really high. Sorry. And, oh, by the way, will you listen to my new demo tape?” That amends didn't go over too well. Peter immediately called me up and screamed at me for two hours. He blamed me for the downfall of Def Leppard, the downfall of Tesla and for not winning an Oscar. It was a valuable lesson. I realized you probably shouldn’t write an amends letter that ends with you asking someone to listen to your demo.

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