'The Cool Baby' May Be the Strangest Booze Contraption on Kickstarter

By May Wilkerson 03/11/15

Inventor Simon Philion failed to meet his fundraising goals, but has vowed to carry on.

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File this under WTF. One of the more disturbing Kickstarter campaigns in the website’s history is for a beverage holder disguised as a fake baby.

"The Cool Baby" consists of a semi-realistic baby doll with a butt that snaps open to reveal a 36-ounce plastic flask. The flask contains a straw, which snakes through the baby’s neck and out the back of its head.

The contraption, which straps to your chest, allows you to covertly booze it up, while fooling others into thinking you’re just an average person carrying around a fake baby. Says the project’s website: “Drinking in public is now adorable.”

The brainchild of “The Cool Baby” is Simon Philion, a former professional stand-up comedian turned inventor/entrepreneur. In a surreal video on the Kickstarter website, Philion demonstrates the baby’s usage, ranging from a kitchen appliance (drinking while cooking) to a TV-watching accoutrement (drinking while holding the remote control and a cat).

By the time fundraising closed, 348 people donated their hard-earned cash to the project on Kickstarter, pledging a total $19,526, far short of the campaign’s $70,000 goal. While Philion didn't make his goal, he has vowed that "the cool baby will live." Good luck with that.

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May Wilkerson is a writer, comic and Managing Editor @someecards. Co-host of the podcast Crazy; In Bed w/alyssalimp. She is also the top Google result for "insufferable lunatic." Follow this insufferable lunatic on Twitter.