Bud Lite as a Performance-Enhancing Drug

By Jeff Forester 07/19/11

Drunken demolition derby star wins race, loses face.

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Not a job, an adventure.
Photo via centralkynews

Everyone agreed that David L. Warner Jr., 36, drove a brilliant demolition derby in the ultra-competitive small car race at the local Jessamine County Fair in Kentucky. But oh how the mighty have fallen. Warner was yanked from the lofty pinnacle of victory and marched off to the local jail. It seems Warner had been pounding Bud Lites all day before the race, and after spectators and others (perhaps sore losers) notified police that Warner had been drinking before the race, he was arrested and charged with DUI. Nicholasville police Captain Chris Cain said Warner "refused to blow in the Breathalyzer tube." The citation quotes Warner as saying, "I ain't blowing in that fucking tube, so you can stick it up your (expletive)." Which is pretty self-explanatory. Warner was taken to the Jessamine County Detention Center, and later released on bond.

In an event where the whole point is reckless driving, one wonders why the beef over a few Buds. “Even being in a demolition derby, there are some rules they have to follow, and being impaired can lead to more risks than what they are already taking by doing that,” Cain said. Warner is scheduled to appear in court on July 26th.  No word if he has been disqualified from the demolition derby for using performance-enhancing drugs.

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Jeff Forester is a writer in Minnesota. His book, Forest for the Trees: How Humans Shaped the North Woods, an ecological history of his state's famed Boundary Waters, came out in paperback in 2009. Jeff is the Executive Director of MN Lakes and Rivers Advocates MLR and you can follow him on Twitter.