Today's question comes from a teenager wondering the best ways to resist temptation and refuse peer pressure to try drugs.
I am 17 and found your website by google. There’s a lot of drugs at my school and, because I like dancing, especially at all the dance parties and teen clubs. White lightening is very popular for example. I feel under a lot of pressure to take it but haven’t given in so far. But I feel myself slipping. I am not sure what the best response is how to tell people to back off, and I also have to deal with my own temptation to try it. How do I get through this? – Victoria
Rita Milios: First, let me commend you for having the wisdom and insight to do some investigation and to engage in some mindful deliberation before you make a possibly life-altering decision. I know it is difficult to stand up against peer pressure, but consider why peer pressure exists in the first place. Those who pressure others to join them in a risky proposition are really just attempting to validate their own choices by getting others to join in. If they were certain of their choices, they would not seek a “stamp of approval” via others’ joint participation.
Your choice so far shows that you are in touch with your “wise self,” your intuition, which always has your best interest at heart. You need to be your own best friend, and follow your inner guidance, rather than giving in to outside pressures from others who have their own agenda, not yours, as their motivation.
As far as the drug you mention, I am not sure if you are speaking of LSD or the “bath salt” named White Lightening, as the slang name can refer to either. Regardless, the biggest reason for avoiding either of these (or other drugs) is that you really can’t know for sure what effects these chemicals will have in your body. The White Lightening “bath salt” product is actually an insect repellant, and street-level LSD is known to be highly impure and significantly altered prior to distribution so that it is a mystery what you are actually taking. It is wise to seriously consider whether there is enough short-term gain to be found in taking any drug that could possibly be worth the risks….both immediately and in the future. Choosing to start experimenting with drugs is one of those decisions that can change the trajectory of your life, altering your future for years to come.
As far as how to resist:
1) For your own “temptation,” continue doing what you are doing…investigate. I’m sure that in reading some of the stories and articles on this website, you will see that many people who are recovering from drug addiction would give almost anything to be able to turn back time and make a different decision about going down that path. If you need support in gaining self-confidence and self-esteem so that you can speak honestly with your peers, please seek assistance from your school counselor or another counselor.
2) As far as what to say to others regarding their “pressure” to try to convince you to join them, create a simple, clear, concise message that you can deliver consistently, over and over, like a parrot (but in a kind, non-judgmental tone). Say something like, ”I have decided that this is not for me. I respect you in having made a different choice, and I expect that you will respect my choice as well.” If they continue to pressure you or taunt you, add: “Again, I have decided that this is not for me. I am not going to discuss it further.” Then smile and change the subject or walk away.
I wish you all the best.
Rita Milios, LCSW, is a psychotherapist in private practice, author of more than 30 books, and frequent professional lecturer and on-camera expert. She also facilitates workshops and training for clinicians, therapists, writers, holistic practitioners, businesses and associations. She is known as "The Mind Mentor" because of her unique approach to “mind tools training.” RitaMilios.linktoexpert.com Full Bio.