Matty Healy, frontman of rock band The 1975, revealed in an interview with Billboard that he was under the influence of drugs for a large portion of 2017 but has since cleaned up his act.

He first realized he may have had a problem when he embarked on a benzodiazepine-fueled ego trip, ranting at his bandmates after they discovered he was smoking heroin again.

“Listen, everyone has to get onboard because I’m the f—ing main deal,” Healy recalled telling his fellow band members, who have known him since they were in high school. “If you want the songs, we’re just going to have to get on with it.”

He told them he planned to detox after they start recording their third album. But the next morning, he had regrets over the way he acted towards them.

“I realized that was absolutely f—ing bulls—,” he told Billboard. Approaching his bandmate George Daniel, Healy told him, “I should go to rehab.”

Healy went to a Barbados rehab in November and stayed for seven weeks. While he is now clean of heroin, he recalls being able to dump the habit for weeks at a time only to relapse when he was off on his own. Healy thought he was a “good drug addict,” but realized that the addiction could very easily cost him everything.

“People had started to lose respect for me, but not an irredeemable amount,” he said.

To hold himself accountable, he’s promised to take a drug test every week in front of his bandmates.

Healy reflects on his struggles with heroin in the song “It’s Not Living If It’s Not With You” on the band’s upcoming album, A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships, and it’s definitely not a song meant to romanticize drugs.

“I don’t want to fetishize it, because it’s really dull and it’s really dangerous,” he told Billboard. “The thought of being to a young person what people like [William S.] Burroughs were to me when I was a teenager makes me feel ill… I still risked it.”

Since getting clean of heroin, he’s also realized that he’s wasted time chasing things he thought would make him happy, he said, but this pursuit does nothing for one's own self-esteem.

“I thought it would be like, ‘Ooh, a bit of gold, a Rolls-Royce’—I never had a Rolls-Royce—‘drugs with a pop star, shag that pop star’—I didn’t shag any pop stars—all of the trappings of a music video,” he said. “And what you realize is the pursuit of happiness is this Sisyphean thing for most people. Thinking that the goal is to be happy is a bit mad. It’s more about fleeting moments of joy and knowing that life is hard.”

While he is clean of heroin, Healy still chooses to smoke marijuana.