• Drinking Coffee to Stave Off Alzheimer’s—Is it Really That Simple? [Scientific American]
• Vegas Cops Nab 212 Pounds of Meth [SoberInfo]
• Are Cigarette Stocks Smokin' With Those High Yields? [Benzinga.com]
• An Anatomy of Addiction: Sigmund Freud, Cokehead [Salon]
• Irish Drug Market Crashes [The Economist]
• Menthol: The "Gateway" Cigarette? [CNN]
• Blood Pressure Drug Could Fight Cocaine Addiction [Time Healthland]
• Sweden Targets Cannabis Use [The Local]

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Everyone agreed that David L. Warner Jr., 36, drove a brilliant demolition derby in the ultra-competitive small car race at the local Jessamine County Fair in Kentucky. But oh how the mighty have fallen. Warner was yanked from the lofty pinnacle of victory and marched off to the local jail. It seems Warner had been pounding Bud Lites all day before the race, and after spectators and others (perhaps sore losers) notified police that Warner had been drinking before the race, he was arrested and charged with DUI. Nicholasville police Captain Chris Cain said Warner "refused to blow in the Breathalyzer tube." The citation quotes Warner as saying, "I ain't blowing in that fucking tube, so you can stick it up your (expletive)." Which is pretty self-explanatory. Warner was taken to the Jessamine County Detention Center, and later released on bond.

In an event where the whole point is reckless driving, one wonders why the beef over a few Buds. “Even being in a demolition derby, there are some rules they have to follow, and being impaired can lead to more risks than what they are already taking by doing that,” Cain said. Warner is scheduled to appear in court on July 26th.  No word if he has been disqualified from the demolition derby for using performance-enhancing drugs.

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Clarissa Dickson Wright, recovering alcoholic and former co-star of BBC 2’s hit cooking show The Two Fat Ladies, always knew her program was one of the Queen Mother’s favorites, even before the Queen Mother’s niece, Margaret Rhodes, released her latest book reaffirming Clarissa’s belief. The gregarious Clarissa, who was well known for riding alongside Jennifer Paterson in her motorcycle sidecar, traversing the streets of the UK, recently sat down with Rebecca Hardy of the London Daily Mail. In Wiltshire, South West England, over a cup of tea, Clarissa talked about her lifelong ties to aristocratic circles, and shared stories about her past party-hardy days. Clarissa has been sober for 24 years. In her boozing heyday, when she was hitting it hard, Clarissa was regularly downing two bottles of gin a day—and enjoying a few beers with breakfast. Clarissa, 64, recalls when her promiscuous 20-year-old self got so obliterated that she couldn’t remember which Member of Parliament (MP) she had sex with in the House of Commons. When the Daily Mail asked her who the mystery man was, Clarissa replied: “I’d say like a shot but I was in and out of blackouts during my drinking days.” Clarissa, known for her devotion to strong and bold flavors—often liberally dousing her dishes with “fatty” ingredients—is set to release her newest book, A History of English Food, in October. The book is dedicated to her deceased alcoholic father.

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Dimwits nationwide are finding that their probation terms are being reset or revoked because of idiotic posts they’re placing on Facebook. Take for example, Scott W. Roby, convicted on charges of possession of methamphetamine and Ecstasy. The Courier-Journal of Louisville, Kentucky reports  he just received a two-year prison term for violating his probation, one provision of which states that he cannot drink alcohol nor be in any establishment serving alcoholic beverages. Okay, fair enough. But after friending his probation officer on Facebook, he proceeded to post pictures of himself drinking. He also blatantly asked via Facebook, “Anyone wanna go get smashed tonight one last time before the end of the Earth?” Law enforcement officials are saying this is becoming a recurring theme in Jefferson County, Kentucky. They are amazed that the convicted offenders are openly disclosing posts that violate probation terms when they are aware their probation officers can view everything. Here, you can check out some of the more illogical posts that other crazed felons have foolishly shared with everyone under the sun.

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Okay, maybe patches and lozenges and Chantix haven’t worked. You’re still smoking, and everybody hates you. So you go New Age—but acupuncture and meditation don’t cut it, either. Everybody hates you even more. Perhaps it’s time for a complete leap into the unknown with low-level laser therapy (LLLT), a popular though mainly untested treatment therapy in Europe. It is essentially a form of acupuncture with cold light lasers. Low-level laser therapy for nicotine addiction is now available in Connecticut, Florida, and other states. As a Florida clinic explains it: “By naturally elevating levels of endorphins, laser therapy allows you to eliminate nicotine from your body while avoiding the cravings, stress, and irritability most commonly associated with withdrawal.” That’s the (mostly unproven) theory, anyway.

The laser is a low-powered (cold) laser and the procedure is non-invasive. Since it has been approved for use in the treatment of carpal tunnel syndrome, and there have been a few scattered clinical trials, mostly in China, advocates have at least something to hang their hat on. “The low-level laser therapy operates on the principles of acupuncture to alleviate symptoms which occur when quitting smoking. During a session, the laser is applied to specific points on the ears, face, hands and wrist which are associated with addiction and appetite suppression.” And now you know exactly as much as we know about the subject.

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The USA women’s soccer team was defeated in the FIFA World Cup Final by Japan’s squad in penalty kicks yesterday. Despite the heartbreaking loss, fans in Rochester still had plenty to cheer about. USA’s heroic forward, Abby Wambach, who scored goals in all three games preceding the final, added a goal in the 104th minute yesterday to give USA what looked the game-winner.  Although her spectacular header in the first OT frame did not seal the deal, fans at her brother’s bar—the Back Nine Grill in Pittsford, a suburb of Rochester, New York— crowded the public house to celebrate Wambach’s success. Bars across the country joined in with the Back Nine Grill, holding booze-flowing viewing parties as fans loyally expressed their support. With opening time set for high noon yesterday, GM Eric Jones, general manager of the Back Nine, told WHAM that he expected the bar to be at full capacity by 1 p.m. Camera crews from ESPN were camped out front to capture the mayhem. Alcohol consumption and sporting events, two of America’s closely correlated pastimes, have come together once again.

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