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Russell Brand Blogs About Relapse

The comedian vividly describes how he still fantasizes about heroin, at 10 years clean.


Russell Brand takes action. Photo via

By Ben Feuerherd


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Even after ten years in recovery from drugs and alcohol, Russell Brand says relapse is never out of the picture. "The last time I thought about taking heroin was yesterday," writes the British comedian on his website, He says receiving some bad news from a "beautiful woman" nearly led him back to drugs. "I think of places I could score," he writes, and details a vivid fantasy of buying heroin from a dealer on a street corner. "I’d leave him on the corner, a couple of rocks, a couple of $20 bags pressed into my sweaty palm," he describes. "I get home, I pull out the foil, neatly torn." But instead of copping drugs, Brand says he made a phone call, and it prevented him from descending into his old ways. "Even as I spin this beautifully dreaded web I am reaching for my phone," he writes, "I call someone not a doctor or a sage not a mystic or a physician, just a bloke like me, another alcoholic, who I know knows how I feel." Brand says in a decade of sobriety, his life has "immeasurably improved," but he adds: "the price of this is constant vigilance because the disease of addiction is not rational." The candid comedian's addiction and recovery are detailed in a documentary out last year, Russell Brand: From Addiction to Recovery. He has also started a fund within UK-based charity Comic Relief called “Give It Up," to raise awareness about, and money for, abstinence based recovery.

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