Russell Brand Blogs About Relapse
The comedian vividly describes how he still fantasizes about heroin, at 10 years clean.
Even after ten years in recovery from drugs and alcohol, Russell Brand says relapse is never out of the picture. "The last time I thought about taking heroin was yesterday," writes the British comedian on his website, russellbrand.tv. He says receiving some bad news from a "beautiful woman" nearly led him back to drugs. "I think of places I could score," he writes, and details a vivid fantasy of buying heroin from a dealer on a street corner. "I’d leave him on the corner, a couple of rocks, a couple of $20 bags pressed into my sweaty palm," he describes. "I get home, I pull out the foil, neatly torn." But instead of copping drugs, Brand says he made a phone call, and it prevented him from descending into his old ways. "Even as I spin this beautifully dreaded web I am reaching for my phone," he writes, "I call someone not a doctor or a sage not a mystic or a physician, just a bloke like me, another alcoholic, who I know knows how I feel." Brand says in a decade of sobriety, his life has "immeasurably improved," but he adds: "the price of this is constant vigilance because the disease of addiction is not rational." The candid comedian's addiction and recovery are detailed in a documentary out last year, Russell Brand: From Addiction to Recovery. He has also started a fund within UK-based charity Comic Relief called “Give It Up," to raise awareness about, and money for, abstinence based recovery.