Lindsay Lohan's Father Comes Clean
(page 2)That was your drug of choice at the time?
Yeah. The sick part is I wouldn’t even do coke before I drank. Even if I had it in my hand, I would drink first before I did it. Because when you drink, and you want to have fun, you use the coke to straighten yourself up. I didn’t want to act stupid or look stupid, and coke just kept me straight. And it became a never-ending cycle.
What was your rock bottom?
The first one was in 1989, and I worked for a guy named Marc Rich—I traded for him, and I wouldn’t tell, and I got three years for contempt, but at the time I was facing 15 years under the Rico Act, and when the feds were looking for me, I went on the run, and Dina and I split up, and I just felt like my life was at the end. And I drank and did coke one day, and went back to my parent’s house, where my gun was…I was destroyed. I didn’t even talk about this on the show. Before that happened, I grew up in the church and went every Sunday. But that day I went into my parents’ room, and there was a cross on the wall that was passed down from my great grandmother to my grandmother to my mom. And I took the cross off the wall, and I said, “God, how could you do this to me?” and I took the cross, and I hit myself in the head with it, and it actually buried itself in my head.
Do you have a scar?
Yeah. When I went to prison, they shave your head, and I saw the scar and was like, Oh my God. Then after that, I got so mad at myself for even doing that, I was like, How did I defy God like that? How did I denounce him? I hated myself. And I was like, “I don’t deserve to even live. They’re after me, I’m gonna go away for 15 years and disgrace the family,” and I went in my room and got the gun.
After I put the gun down, I picked up the phone and called Betty Ford. And I was at Betty Ford the very next day.
What will people learn about you from the show—will anything surprise them?
Just that I’m a real person. Good, bad or indifferent.
Do you think you have an image now in the press?
Of course. People depict me as an outspoken, angry person, but I’m the opposite. I’m only outspoken when people attack my family or me. That’s it. And if you lie, I’m gonna refute it. As far as the anger is concerned, don’t ever cross paths with or hurt my family or me. Other than that, I’m not an angry or a violent person at all. If anything, I try to stop people.
If a random person on the street came up to you right now and said, “I’m an addict, do you have any advice?” what would you say?
I’d ask what their problem was, and where it came from, and sit down and try to identify with things. I love doing that with people. I had a radio show down in Florida, and last Sunday a guy called in and was gonna kill himself, and I put him on another line confidentially, and I spoke to him. We got his sister over the house, we got an interventionist there, and he went into a program.
Wow. How does that make you feel?
Would you ever work in a rehab facility?
I do. I speak at them. The thing I’m most passionate about is kids because I really don’t think we should wait for a person to be a husband or a wife or a father or a mother and wait for addiction to take over their life. We should nip it in the bud before it gets to that point.
You tweet a lot about God and spirituality. You still go to church?
What’s your relationship like with God?
He’s my father and I’m his son. I have to answer to him, nobody else.