Gaga Used Coke to Cope With Loneliness
But she quit when she realized her "friend" made her lonelier still—and threatened her career.
Reigning queen of the "monsters" Lady Gaga has been forthcoming about her own personal demons, including self esteem issues, history of bullying and drug use—and this week she unveiled details of a cocaine problem that plagued her early 20s. In an interview on Lifetime talk show The Conversation with Amanda de Cadenet, Gaga said she turned to cocaine to cope with loneliness: "It was like the drug was my friend. I never did it with other people." But this "solution" to loneliness ultimately backfired, and she says of her drug use: "it's such a terrible way to fill that void, because it just adds to that void, because it's not real." The singer, who is now 26, says she began abusing cocaine at 19 and continued for a "long time." She recalls hitting a low point that resulted in her downing NyQuil in the shower to come down from a binge. Shortly after, she realized the drug was impeding her creative process, so she quit the "white devil" completely. "There's this perception and romanticism around drugs. That it's sexy," continues Gaga. "Or that it's artistic or that you're troubled and you're going to make great music when really, you're just a [bleeping] loser. I just stopped and focused 150 percent of my energy on my happiness."