Sober (Sexy) Singles Now Have a Dating Site
The founders of "Sexy and Sober Singles" tell The Fix about their plan to help people in recovery find love.
Now that getting loaded and hitting on anyone within a 10-foot radius is no longer an option, dating in sobriety can be tricky. And while knocking boots with another sober person may seem like an ideal option, going out with someone from a meeting may be a step (or thirteen) towards disaster. A new website called Sexy and Sober Singles aims to make the process a little easier. “We’re just trying to help like-minded people who don’t drink find a place where you don’t have to explain why you’re not drinking or what your issue is,” co-founder Shannon Shea tells The Fix. “It’s created by people in recovery for people in recovery.” Shea promises the site—which just launched last month—is also very LGBT-friendly: “It’s hard enough to meet somebody in recovery if you’re straight, but trying to meet someone in recovery if you’re gay or transgender, where are you going to go?” The site is also unique in that unlike major dating sites like Match.com or eHarmony, users can see everyone else’s profiles—not just the ones a computer has deemed compatible with their interests.
The idea for the site came from co-founder Paul Kole, who faced his own struggles while trying to date during recovery. Determined not to be the “creepy guy at the supermarket” hitting on girls, he joined forces with Shea, who already ran her own "Sexy and Sober" clothing and accessories line. Although Sexy and Sober Singles is just getting off the ground now, they both have high hopes that the site—the first of its kind—will flourish. “Everybody should be connected in one way or another," Kole tells The Fix. "We want people to have access to more than just what’s local or what they just happen across.” Shea and Kole are also hard at work on the Pink Cloud Foundation, a nonprofit that helps people in recovery "achieve their dreams"—through mentorship, resources or a small stipend to get their career going. Through these various avenues, Shea and Kole are committed to connecting sober people all over the world, and look forward to the day they can put up the site’s own “eHarmony success story” billboards. Says Kole: “The whole big picture is to empower people in recovery to do more, to reach out, to help others."