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Cat Marnell Continues to Use and Tell

In a speed-fueled interview, the former beauty blogger says she's been an Rx addict since she was 15.

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Marnell wears her addiction on her sleeve.
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By May Wilkerson

06/18/12

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Since leaving her job at xoJane.com last week, former beauty columnist and self-described "pill-head" Cat Marnell has been as unfiltered as usual, spilling to the media about her drug addiction and "crazy life." In an interview with New York Magazine, she describes herself as a "fucking freakshow," and admits "I'm always on drugs." But despite being on speed during the interview, the blogger speaks with staggering clarity about her addiction, which she says started when her psychiatrist dad put her on stimulants at 15—and "I’ve just been gobbling down pills ever since." There's some contention over whether she left her job intentionally, or was fired—but Marnell recognizes that a pharmaceutical-induced meltdown, and a lifestyle that includes "laying around all day" played their part. She also disputes claims that Jane enabled her by subsidizing her drug-addicted employment for years: "I am a walking syringe…I would have been doing drugs no matter what." As for being unemployed, the Rx addict's primary concern is a lack of health insurance, "because I fill so many prescriptions every month." Adderall and Vyvanse are in her repertoire—but like many addicts, she's resourceful: "Walgreens has a fabulous prescription drug saving program that I would recommend to any young addict."

Some of Marnell's avid readers and fans are beginning to express concern, but she says she hasn't hit rock bottom yet—although perhaps it's not far off. "I am sick, you know, so I have to be realistic. Maybe if there was something inspiring, I could get it together. I don’t plan to be like this all the time," she says, acknowledging that being an addict isn't all it's cracked up to be: "You definitely crash and burn as much as you fly."

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